Finding a Mentor That Fits
Career Mentorship is one of those things people say you should do, but no one ever tells you why or how finding the right mentor can help your skills and career expand:
You’re 20% more likely to get a raise (Source: Sun Microsystems study)
You’re promoted six times more often (Source: Gartner)
Mentees are 40% more likely to achieve their goals with the help of a mentor. (Source: Mentorloop)
Women with mentors are 56% more likely to receive a promotion compared to those without mentors. (Source: Catalyst)
Neurodiverse individuals who had mentors were twice as likely to secure and maintain employment compared to those without mentors. (Source: National Autistic Society)
Simply put: a mentor can help you meet your goals and help hold you accountable while increasing your career progression.
…now to just to find one, right?
WTF is a Mentor?
The heaven’s part. A cat descends down a golden staircase in a three-piece business suit. He has all the answers to your career questions, promotion problems, and salary woes. The answers are easy. You both click like catnip. It is wonderful. While Henry does provide advice and purrs, unless you speak cat and are seeking employment in the cat colony, he might not be the best fit.
A mentor is simply a person who can a guide, support, and advise you through something. Usually, they are a person with more experience in the subject of guidance you’re seeking and that doesn’t mean they’re older than you. You connect with them either regularly or as needed to discuss topics that are important to you, progress that you’ve made, or challenges you need help overcoming. You work together to make a plan and check-in when you need help or accountability.
Also, you don’t have to have just one mentor or even just for work! You can have multiple people supporting you, like maybe you have a mentor that’s helping you with public speaking, one that’s helping you transition into a managerial role by learning how to delegate better, and another that helps with meal planning at home.
Your accountabilly-buddy on steroids.
Starting Point
It actually begins with you.
Start by Identify your own personal and/or professional goals that you feel you need help with or accountability to move forward. You can also identify a particular skill you want to learn (public speaking or writing better emails).
Then think about the type of people you work best with or that you admire; what about them makes you jive well? What qualities do you find important? Keep those in mind.
Mentor-chu, I Choose You!
I’m sure if you look “how do I find and pick my mentor” online they will tell you things like go network at an event or join a mentorship platform or and some such. While these options can work for some people, it requires that you feel very confident in your self-reflection and your ability to network. If your company offers a mentoring program and platform, there is no harm in trying it out but they tend to be very rigid.
In reality, your best mentors are likely the people around and closest to you already. There’s likely someone you admire wholly or some knack of a skill you’d like to learn. Those are the best people to choose—they have an inherent understanding of you a bit more than a new person, they may be on the same team or at least same business unit or company to have a shared starting cultural vocabulary and nuance of the business.
My big 4 in a mentor is:
Can have open, honest, and direct conversation without feeling judged or limited?
Has a way of communicating with me that I understand clearly without feeling criticized.
Is willing and able to support my goals with their time, advice, and advocacy.
I would be willing to work for this person, provide a reference, and feel overall that I respect them.
Here, I thought about writing a really big blurb about “the asking part” when I recalled having a couple of conversations with a skip-level employee. I had recommended to her that perhaps she should seek out a Mentor to help her with career progression and skill guidance beyond just me (the more the merrier). She said the internal mentor system was a flop for her and asked if she knew anyone in our org that she really connected with. She told me who and I asked if she reached out. She said “I’m nervous and don’t know what to say?”
I smiled and said it’s actually easier than you think. Try: “Will you be my mentor?”
Straight. Simple. Direct. Very ockham's razory.
Of course, you can follow up with a couple pieces of flattery and details if you choose, but simply asking someone if they have the time to mentor you in something is the best approach. By the way, my skip used this on her desired mentor and it worked. They were a great fit and keep on keeping on.
There are mutual rules of engagement in the Mentor and Mentee relationship but they are all built on respect.
As the above image says:
Together:
Set expectations for each other about what you will and won’t do
Define goals together
Define your meeting schedule and be punctual
Mentee (You)
Have an agenda or specific topic for each meeting
Have notes and follow ups for your Mentor
Communicate openly and honestly
Be open to feedback and ideas
Mentor (Them)
Provide timely and relevant advice, feedback, and connections
Maintain notes of discussions and needs
Be non-judgmental to any challenges or blockers
Maintain confidentiality
Together, you should be able to grow with your mentor and they will grow with you—it’s not a one-way street because you’re helping them learn, too. If at any point it doesn’t feel helpful, supportive, or like you’re not moving forward or uncomfortable in a very negative way, it’s okay to stop and move on.
Pay It Forward
One day, you will both grow out of this Mentor/Mentee relationship, but hopefully not each other. Personally, I’m friends with several past mentors and mentees. I love watching people grow and kick ass. Keep in contact and share your successes!
And also, pay it forward if you can. You are also awesome and you can help bring others along on your journey as you grow and expand yourself.
One last note: Henry is currently not taking any new mentees. Sorry y’all.