Imposter Syndrome Sucks

A moment to get real together: Imposter Syndrome is the specter of my life. I’m a neurodiverse woman in the gaming industry: that’s like a triple whammy right there. Hell, typing these words are some kind of exposure therapy…

Imposter Syndrome sucks. It’s a widespread issue that affects high-achieving individuals who, despite their accomplishments, feel like frauds. It effects both men and women and it’s estimated that over 80% of the population feels it; however, women tend to experience Imposter Syndrome more and feel it deeper—in 2020 a KPMG poll found that 75% of executive women experience it. It’s not just a “personal problem”—it has tangible impacts on mental health, career progression, and workplace satisfaction.

Imposter Syndrome…..sucks….

WTF is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter Syndrome was first described in 1978 when psychologists Dr. Pauline Rose Clance and Dr. Suzanne Imes (actually calling it “imposter phenomenon”) partnered to discuss specific feelings of self-doubt among high-achieving women. It has evolved to describe the internal experience of feeling like you don’t belong or that you’re not as competent as others perceive you to be, despite evidence to the contrary.

It can manifest as self-doubt, perfectionism, anxiety, depression, and a persistent fear of being “found out” which can then lead to burnout, stress, and career stagnation as people will overwork to prove their worth or avoid opportunities they feel they are “unqualified for”.  

Speaking of “unqualified,” if you haven’t heard the statistic from Hewlett Packard’s internal report about why women were not applying for leadership jobs that has been going around for ages: women tend to apply for jobs when they feel they 100% qualify conversely men will apply when they only meet 60% of the requirements. Nancy F. Clark writing at Forbes summed it up nicely: “Men are confident about their ability at 60%, but women don’t feel confident until they’ve checked off each item on the list.”

Lack of confidence plus Imposter Syndrome? How does anyone make any forward progress?!

What Causes These Terrible Vibes

The causes are multifaceted. When you’re in an environment that is demanding, includes high performance expectations, and has rapid innovation cycles the require constant upskilling to stay on-fleek, that amount of work and churn can feel soul crushing. Additionally, being “significantly underrepresented relative to [the] share of the working-age population” can lead to feelings of otherness where you must constantly feel like you must prove yourself to your peers.

Imposter syndrome is especially prevalent in biased, toxic cultures that value individualism and overwork.

- Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome

by Ruchika Tulshyan and Jodi-Ann Burey

In the games industry and in particular for women, Emily Greer, CEO of Double Loop Games and the Independent Game Developers Association’s vice-chair reminded people “many of the workplace risk factors cited by the US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission are commonplace in the games industry: overwhelming male workforce; lots of young workers; workplaces where some ‘superstar’ employees are perceived to be particularly valuable; workplaces with significant power disparities…”

Being Neurodiverse can pile on in the workplace (this post won’t be discussing late-stage neurodiversity diagnosis and feelings of Imposter Syndrome about the right or wrong “label” but know that exists as well). The feelings of professional fit are deep enough, but add the concept of social fit and masking can lead to even more intense feelings and even faster burnout.

So What’s One to Do?

First, the hardest part to remember about Imposter Syndrome is that it’s not something you did. You are not at fault for these feelings on concepts. Hopefully reflected above, there are many systemic issues, especially for marginalized groups, that contribute to this phenomenon. As we continue to work on the larger, universal situation, here are some things you can do now to help yourself now.

Recognize and Reframe

So much easier said than done, I know. When you catch yourself thinking those uber, not-so-great-thoughts, pause, take a breath, and try and rework it away from the negative.

Says the woman who’s been trying to do this for 30+ years…

It was explained to me this way: think of the terrible voices and thoughts in your head as roots that have grown deep into your brain; the same way you create habits by traversing the same neuropathways over and over. These thoughts become a bit of a habit—you don’t necessarily want to walk that path and you know you don’t even like it, but it’s worn down so deeply it’s become the easiest route—the simplest way for your brain to send signals across.

You must consciously stop yourself and try to guide your brain down a new path. It took years for your brain to originally create these roots; don’t expect them to be torn up overnight. But do start, one root, one thought at a time. And yes, this can be supported by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy aka CBT (more below).

Document Achievements and Strengths 

As you reframe your thoughts, get yourself some easily accessible evidence! Create a brag book or cheer folder in your email of all the awesome feedback you’ve gotten. Review your Historical Career and Project Tracker and remind yourself of your wins. Work on daily gratitude journal or just journaling—and if you’re like me and have difficulty with this whole gratitude thing, I highly recommend this epic Gratitude Journal from Kurzgesagt (they have a great YouTube Video about gratitude and your brain on the same page!). Also, here are 26 Mental Health Bujo Spreads from JashiiCorin including ways to detach yourself in a situation, a compliment keeper, and fighting cognitive distortions.

Seek Mentors and Support Networks 

Find mentors, friends, or support groups (meaning anything from an industry group to a D&D Night) who understand your industry, your role, your challenges and can offer guidance and affirmation. These can help provide a sense of community and validation. Follow social media handles that uplift rather than diminish. Every Friday on Instagram and LinkedIn, Henry tries to do an uplifting post for just these reasons.

Get Professional Help

As a reminder, this blog is not medical advice—but there are a lot of great medical professionals out there that can help support you. Seek out a professional therapist and look into modalities that may help you like CBT, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing aka EMDR, TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation), and more. Do your research and find the professional support you need.

All That Mindfulness Stuff

You hear it a lot “be mindful” or “meditate” or “mindful breathing” and so on. Yes. Mindfulness is helpful to mitigate the impacts of Imposter Syndrome. What it means is really doing something with intention. Mindful Breathing: stop everything your doing, close your eyes, and focus on taking one deep breath. Try Box Breathing (and yes, this is a video that trains kids with a swimming fish. I love it). Meditate for one minute: close your eyes, and just focus on the air coming in through your nostrils, out from your mouth. Or try a guided meditation. Mindfully take a bite of food—the best broccoli EVER.

Pause and feel for the moment.

Personally, meditating daily has been a lifesaver. I started with 5 minutes a day doing guided meditations to focus on something and gradually worked my way up. I will say, guided meditations sometimes make me giggle, so I’ve come up with my own based on songs (ask me about my “Single-Ladies Meditation” to TLC’s No Scrubs). 

You Got This

Imposter syndrome isn’t just an individual issue—it’s influenced by external factors such as workplace culture, bias, and representation—but ultimately, you’re the one feeling it in the moment. Try and focus on your wins and successes, support others, get help if you need it, and be mindful of your mind.

Take care of yourself and remember you’re awesome. After all, we’re on a wet rock in space hurdling through the stars for a short period of time—be the best version of you and let no one take that from you.